Flash of Reality
by FlashofReality
Summary: Every man in his life makes a decision he regrets, and every man is forced to face the consequences of those decisions. Double-D is forced to make quite a few, but will those decisions ruin him, or will they open his eyes to what his heart truly desires. *I'm not even sure yet how this story will end. Edd/Naz/Marie/Sarah
1. Chapter 1

_Every man in his life makes a decision he regrets, and every man is forced to face the consequences of those decisions. Double-D is forced to make quite a few, but will those decisions ruin him, or will they open his eyes to what his heart truly desires. _

**_A/N: Here's the thing, One: before you begin reading; i'll let you know that each character's personalities are written in my own liking with reference to the original "Ed, Edd, & Eddy" cartoon series. As i was writing, i tried to give each character their own unique personality that the reader could relate to in some way. I combined the personalities of those in the cartoon and of those that i would believe you'd understand in reality._**

**_Two: I'm not an excellent writer, i don't keep a thesaurus with me and put in all those fancy words that you might read in a regular novel or fan fiction, i write because i believe it's fun, not to impress those who have high expectations of grammar. -But, that shouldn't stop you from leaving me good criticism, because i'm always welcome to suggestions. :)_**

**_Three: For those who believe Edd should be overly knowledgeable and smart; from my experience and my opinions, those who are smarter than others come off as egotistical, judgmental, and cocky, and over all scumbags. I didn't want edd to be that kind of person, so i normalized him, sorry if you have a problem with it._**

**_Four: Please leave a review after you've read what i have, even if it's to say "Hi, i read your story" that way i know that people are indeed reading and are interested, and it'll motivate me to write more and put out a good story._**

**_Five: I apologize in advance for those who are homosexual, support homosexuality, or may find homophobic Insults offensive, because there are words in here that are referable to homosexuals; such as "Faggot & Gay"_**

**_Six: Here's the way i'll publish this story from here on out; i'll write three chapters so that i can use the previous 2 for reference as i write the current chapter, and so that i can make changes to the previous chapters if i need , i'll publish three of them at a time and start on the next three. If you're reading and you catch up, chances are, i have the next chapter complete, but won't publish it until i have 3 chapters complete._**

**_Once again, PLEASE review!_**

**_Thanks!_**

_(There is no prologue, due to the fact i feel i don't need an introduction to this story, it feels more dramatic starting it right off- Unless my understanding of what a prologue is-is wrong.)_

**Chapter 1:**

To wake up each day feeling worthless, like I'll never accomplish anything, like i'll never be someone, like i'll never make a difference; is the worst feeling I've ever experienced.

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

There's a muffled conversation between two familiar voices near. I know I'm unconscious, but I'm just conscious enough to understand what's going on around me. These familiar voices are my two best friends climbing up my stares to wake me up, but I'm already pulling myself out of my unconscious state and out from underneath my covers. I'm not surprised they're here though; this isn't the first time they've interrupted my sleep. I've known these two since I was a child, I'd introduced myself to the other kids of the cul-de-sac, but they immediately decided they didn't like me. Unlike Ed and Eddy, who I found on the playground after my unfortunate and embarrassing rejection. They accepted me right away; in fact, they thought I was cool because I knew words they'd never heard before. I'm not smart, I'm just as smart as anyone else, I just read more.

My door opens and I'm not surprised to see my two friends barging through it. Eddy's wearing baggy jeans and a white tank top with his long black hair gelled and slicked back over his scalp. -And Ed, also wearing baggy jeans but with a gray T-shirt and a jacket, his red hair is almost just as long and messy in front of his forehead. I'm wearing nothing but briefs and shorts at the moment; my blonde hair is short enough that i don't have to fix it after laying on it all night. It's quite the sight: the three of us, but they're my friends.

_"Yo." Eddy says_ as he helps himself to my desk chair and Ed just stands at the door way

_"Sup." I respond_, my eyes still sensitive to the light that Eddy just flipped on, my voice just as enthusiastic as his, which doesn't mean much because it's monotone. "Hey Ed" my voice is low and raspy. He just grins.

_"So, it's the last day before the first day of school... Want to chill?" Eddy Starts_

_"Don't remind me. Man i hate school, the teachers are so dumb" Ed adds_, I just smirk.

_"Seniors..." I sigh_ as I pull my beany over my hair after putting my red t-shirt on. Eddy rips my beany off immediately.

_"This makes you look like a douche" he says_ mocking me by putting it on his own head and impersonating me. I only stare at him, reminding myself of what he's wearing today; he looks more white trash than I ever will.

_"Look what you're wearing dude!" I say_ as I rip it back out of his grasp.

_"Dude, babes love this!" He replies_ and checks his reflection out in a nearby clock on the wall and flexes.

_"Girls love this too!" Ed joins in_, flexing his biceps, still covered by His sleeves.

Maybe I won't wear it today, I do wear it a lot, I got it from my older brother who moved away with a girl, and he hated my parents for never being around. My dad runs his own retail center and my mom is a doctor, so they're pretty much busy all the time. When my mom went back to school, my bro pretty much raised me; he was my best friend, even more than Ed and Eddy. He's 5 years older than me. He was the life of the party, good with people, and had lots of friends. Whenever he took me to parties with him, people only hung out with me because I was with him. Though, for the amount of friends he had, he never forgot me. We would do everything together, and this was his gift to me before he left.

_"I'm thinkin' we play some video games, maybe get some chips and popcorn and watch a movie, then we'll go out to the fun center and hit on babes" Eddy suggests_

_"Yeah dude! I have this new first person shooter game we could play! And I wanted to watch a new movie that came out recently!" Ed adds_ getting excited

_"And the babes?" Eddy waits_

_"I think I'm going to go out and draw something" I interrupt_, drawing is one of my hobbies, it's what I do to get away from reality, the stress of school, work, and people; along my other interests, which are reading and playing music on my guitar. Though, I do enjoy an occasional movie now and then. I've been using my hobbies as a distraction from thinking too much about my future, what I'm going to do with my life, where I'll go for college, where I'll live, and etc. After senior year of school, it's only a matter of time before I'm forced to make decisions like this. I just worry that I won't make it into a good university, I have good grades, I just worry. Eddy, Ed and I have been saving our funds so that someday, we'll rent a place next to a community college he plans to attend, for me, it's a last resort.

_"How gay." Eddy replies "come on Ed, let's go play that FPS you were lusting after and leave double douche to draw his nudes"_

He's joking, Ed and I know it.

_"Ha, nudes." Ed chuckles_

I'm in the small forest between the cul-de-sac and the trailer park and construction site, its sunny out and there's not a lack of warmth around, I feel the heat from the rays of sunlight breaking through the leaves. I'm drawing the scenery and manipulating it into fantasy, when I hear someone coming. Quick to react, I close my sketchbook and wait. I'm insecure about my drawings, especially if they're incomplete. Nazz walks through the trees and out in front of me, she stops her tracks when she catches sight of me, our eyes link and I notice hers are red and her cheeks are stained of tears and mascara, she probably came through the forest to get away. She quickly turns the other way and wipes her face. I get nervous, unsure if I should look away, or if I should ask if she's okay. I'm always nervous around her, every time I plan my sentences and put them in order, when I confront her, they scramble and I end up embarrassing myself. I don't talk to people, not since for as long as I can remember. It's not that I don't want to, it's that I can't, even if I convince myself that I'm not afraid, I end up putting too much thought into it and bail. I guess you could say I'm scared of disappointment; I'm scared of embarrassing myself, of what people think of me. I envy those who are care free and 'go with the flow', I want to go with the flow.

She walks over to me and gives me her best smile, trying to cover up the fact that she was obviously just crying. Even with the lack of make-up and her red eyes, i still believe she's beautiful. She has perfect straight white teeth, that's her best feature; her smile. I feel my face getting red and my body getting hot, it itches, but I smile back.

_"Double-D, how are you?" She asks_ as she takes a seat next to me against the hard tree.

_"I'm good" I reply_ and quickly avert my eyes to my lap where my sketchbook lays. 'What, that's it?... you're good?' the thoughts in my head are insulting me, telling me to say more.

_"How a-" she cuts me off with a: "so wha-" she laughs_ and sniffs her tears away one last time.

_"Sorry" I smile_ and she smiles back, I can feel the awkwardness I'm bringing into the conversation 'you idiot Edd, you idiot!' I think to myself

_"What are you drawing?" She finally asks_, referring to the book on my lap.

_"Oh... umm, it's nothing really, I'm insecure about my drawings" I reply_, I must look pathetic to her right now.

_"Oh come on! I bet they're fantastic!" she says_ reaching for my sketchbook, I give up and I let her have it. I left the pencil in the book to save my place, and she flips it open. Her eyes widen as she sees the exact same place she was just walking in, in full detail, only there's a new addition, a fantasy character is lying down on her back on the ground, lifeless. Nothing but trees, plants, dirt, and a dead woman... brilliant.

_"This is amazing" she whispers_ to herself which relieves me as she slides her hand down the page. She's smudging my drawing and it makes me flinch, but she's connecting with it, I'm okay with that.

_"You said you are uncomfortable about people seeing your work, so I'll stop there, but you should share these! It's amazing!" She encourages me_, no one has ever said that about my drawings, maybe because I've never shown anyone, but her compliment felt so good. I'm sure it's my self-esteem talking.

_"Thanks" I smile_ and we just sit there.

"Sorry if I'm intruding in your personal business, but I'd noticed you are going through a rough time, are you okay?" I surprise myself with my sudden burst of courage, did I just say that?

She looks down at her feet as she hugs her knees, now swaying back and forth slightly, then stops.

_"Well..." she starts_, still staring at her shoes _"It's just stuff with Kevin... he's being a jerk"_

Oh, Nazz and Kevin drama? That's surprising... they're always going through something, an emotional roller coaster or a train wreck. One day they're broken up, and the other, they're lovey dovey. Why do girls have so much interest in bad guys, with the cigarettes and tattoos, and the jocks who take advantage of them while there are so many nice guys around them?

_"Well, I'm sorry to hear that, i hope things work out for you" I lie_, secretly I like Nazz, I don't know what it is enough to explain it yet, but I have an infatuation with her, but I just sit by the sidelines and do nothing, I'm just like that.

She puts her hand on my shoulder, a way of saying thanks without words and then she's gone. I sit there, just sitting and smiling.

_"You're welcome" I say_ to no one.

**The Next Day:**

Same thing yesterday, but today. Why is it always my room where we meet up? Eddy barges through the door wearing his first day's best; black jeans, a black T-shirt and his stupid skater shoes. When will he give that up? His hair is slicked back like usual. Ed follows him, wearing the same baggy jeans, the same T-shirt and jacket, and I think he combed his hair, it's hard to tell. "If they're still clean, why wash em'?" He argues with me as we walk out my front door, it's no use.

_"Yo, this year is gonna be sooo tight! Chicks are gonna be all over this!" Eddy says_ all too excited, I laugh.

_"You said it eddy!" Ed shouts_, laughing along.

_"What about you Ed, are you interested in any girls?" I ask_

_"Pssft!" Eddy interrupts "if you could consider his right hand his 'girl'!"_

_"Whatever dude! Screw you!" Ed denies_ as his face flushes red, Eddy only laughs harder

_"Flipping gross, I'm not talking about this"_ it's my attempt to change the subject, I'm not comfortable in this type of conversation.

_"Come on dude, we're all 'men' here! You're lying if you deny you do it!" Eddy rejects my attempt_

_"I'm not going to talk about it with you!"_ I'm getting frustrated now.

"Why am I like this?" I begin to think to myself as eddy rambles on about something obnoxious. "Even in a casual conversation with my two best friends, I'm a "stiff". Someone who can't have fun, or won't allow himself to. It's a term we made up to describe me whenever I would argue eddy's attempts to scam the other kids in the cul-de-sac. Eddy is a guy who goes with the flow, how does he do it? He's so open to a discussion regarding personal desires where as it embarrasses me."

We're almost at the school now, walking into the parking lot. We don't drive because we live so close, there's no need.

_"Day one here we go!"_ Eddy psyches himself out and jumps into a group of girls right outside the front doors.

_"Ladies!~" he sings_ as he wraps his arms around two of them, but they shove him away and walk for the front door with eddy sticking close by trying to get their attention. Ed and I just follow while talking about the fun center that he and Eddy went to the other day, and how eddy got blown off every time he hit on a girl.

We suddenly stop, it's the kanker sisters. Lee is in an argument with eddy, who is now the same tall as her, a lot can change in 5 years. When we were 13, Lee was a whole foot taller than eddy while she chased him around trying to smooch him, eddy made his best attempt at getting away, but usually fell short, if you know what I mean. Ed and I were in the same situation, each of the kanker sisters crushed on each of the eds'. Lee on Eddy, May on Ed, and Marie on myself. Ed didn't make a big deal of it like Eddy did, but never showed interest in May, so May eventually gave up, she now has herself a boyfriend, some want to be gangster who drives a motorcycle. Marie agreed to give me my space after I insisted she should; she stole my first kiss, even without my consent! I'm sure looking back on it now, she realizes it was a mistake and has to live with that, but I still catch her eying me often, more than often actually, I just don't see her in that way. Lee, the oldest, she got held back and had to attend an extra softmore year, Marie, the younger than Lee, is a softmore, and May, the youngest, is a Junior. Marie and May are standing behind Lee as she gives eddy a piece of her mind.

_"You think you can just fool around with me like I'm a whore and then turn around and say I'm nothing?!" She shouts_ and is now causing a scene.

Marie is carrying with her some text books in her arms against her hip, she also made an effort to look her best for the first day of school; she re-dyed her hair, painted her fingernails black, looks like she bought a new pair of clothes (a black tanktop and some dark blue denim pair of short shorts) and May just stands with her hand on her hip with her weight shifted onto one leg, she's egging the argument on. I see what is happening and walk over to the other side of the hallway and lean against the lockers, camouflaging with the crowd so that I wouldn't involve myself. Marie glances at me, I glance at her, she smiles, I don't and I leave her disappointed. Sorry, but I just don't feel that way about her, it's not that I don't think she's pretty, I do. I just can't feel that spark that people talk about, the one in the movies and in the romance novels you read, the one I feel I feel I have with Nazz.

The argument dies, and I rejoin my friends.

_"Dude, what the fu-"_ Eddy doesn't finish as he notices I'm there, I'm not a fan of cursing, I don't do it actually.

_"Did you see that crazy psychopath?!" He asks_ all too exaggerated "she always brings that up!"

_"Bro, it's because you slept with her last year" Ed says_

_"Then you dumped her and acted like nothing ever happened" I add_

_"And she doesn't get the message!" Eddy argues_

_"You gave each other your first, what do you expect man? Your virginity is a special thing that should-" I'm cut off "yeah shut it faggot" he insults me._

"Whatever man..." I finish

_"Whuteverrr maaannn" he mocks me_ and Ed laughs, sometimes he can be a real scumbag, I'm occasionally made fun of by Eddy for being a virgin, Ed joins in because he wants to be "cool" too. Since when was being a virgin a bad thing? What ever happened to saving your first for when it meant something? What ever happened to seeing past the sexuality and lust, and seeing love and affection instead, to wait until it means something to de-flower a girl. Have you ever heard the phrase "abstinence makes the heart grow fonder"? Well, I believe that-that phrase also applies in this situation. I'm embarrassed of a lot of things, but my virtue and chastity, my virginity I am not embarrassed of, they are my treasure. If I ever told Eddy this, he'd definitely call me a "faggot".

We sit down in class, it's assigned seating, Nazz is on my right, Marie is on my left. I notice how pretty Nazz looks today, prettier than she dresses up usually. Her hair is long and curled, unlike how she wore it when we were younger, short and straight. She's wearing a pink spaghetti strap top that shows off her cleavage to a great amount. I don't notice Marie like I notice Nazz, but she doesn't notice me like she notices Kevin, who has most of her attention at this moment, I notice her uneasiness as she stares at kevin, who is forced to sit up in the front row near the instructor. I feel a tap on my shoulder.

_"Hi" Marie smiles_

_"Hi" I smile back_

_"Do you have a pencil I can borrow? Mine got lost.."_ I smirk at her use of improper grammar, but she is oblivious to notice her mistake. She notices my smirk though, and she smiles bigger. I pass her a pencil and carry on back to the instructor, who is in the process of her introduction, and while she gives information about the semester's syllabus; I'm trying to get nazz's attention.

_"Pst-"_

It works and she glances at me

_"How's it going?" I ask_, but she ignores me and turns back to the instructor. Swing and a miss, every thought running through my head says "you're stupid", "you idiot", "how embarrassing", and "pathetic". It's almost as if yesterday in the forest didn't mean anything. Is being "Ms. Perfect" really that important to her that she can't say hi to a loner like me like she had the other day? The perfect girl with the perfect blonde hair and hazel eyes, skinny body and larger breasts, finger nails glazed with pink nail polish and a very sweet perfume. I get depressed, and on my left Marie noticed my interest in Nazz and she also gets depressed, I assume things between Nazz and Kevin haven't changed, so I guess she's depressed as well. How depressing.

After class, I'm walking to my new locker alone, when I hear:

_"Hey Eddward"_

I turn around, its Marie, she's the only one that calls me that, for some reason, i don't mind. The first thing I notice as she walks toward me is her hair, it's a dark Scarlett color, it totally fits her personality, she had it blue as a child, I guess as you grow older, you grow with a new sense of style. I smile, but she doesn't look at me, just down at the ground, She holds her notebook close to her chest, she's hiding something, the way she feels. She looks up at me, but she doesn't seem as happy as she was when she smiled at me in the hall.

_"Thanks" she says_ as she hands me my pencil back and turns around toward her sisters, what is this? Bite marks? Flippen' gross. I toss it in my locker. I see her down the hall with her sisters, then i see Johny 2x4 with his new friends, they don't call him that, but we do, it's something that stuck ever since he had that 2x4 wood for a friend. I see Jimmy, Sarah, and the rest of the girls in their group, walking together, Jimmy and Sarah have been friends since we were kids as well, it came to no surprise to find that Jimmy likes boys. I see eddy talking with some girls by their lockers, I see other boys and girls who attend this school. Then I see then I turn and I see Nazz with Kevin, by the looks of it, they've just gotten back together.

Perfect...

**_A/N: Hi, So... what'd you think? leave a review! I won't upload chapter two so soon, but stay tuned, it'll be up before you know it :)_**

**_Here's a little sneak peek: (If you'd prefer everything a surprise, then don't read on)_**

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_I shouldn't feel tears coming along, why is this happening? Why can't I stop it? Why does it hurt so much to think of him? Why? I let the tears flow, I let my eyes burn, and i let my cheeks stain; it's better this way._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry for all of the author's notes, i can't help myself. I appreciate those who added my story to their favorites and to those who left a review, that makes things a whole lot more comfortable for me to write. Thanks :)**

**Chapter 2:**

As I look over the parking lot after school from atop a table I've found and decided I'd take a seat, I see my childhood, the people I've known and grown up with and the memories we've shared, even the beatings I got from Kevin and the harassment from the kanker sisters. The only one not here is Ralph, who is a year older than me and graduated already. People are getting in their cars and taking off; others are walking off in groups, others on the school bus, and others just lounging around. Why does it seem like I don't belong? Why can't I belong? I see people with their friends and It sucks, I see girls and they glance at me, but then neglect me like I'm an outcast. I see what I could be, and then I convince myself it'll never happen. I try and picture a girl I'm happy with, and a few faces come to my mind, but who am I kidding, they'd never consider me. Maybe, I'm just feeling sorry for myself, it's not anyone's fault that i am socially awkward but mine. If i could just open my mind and put my worries aside, to change my whole personality and the way i think, my life would improve greatly. My thoughts are interrupted by the sight of Eddy, with Ed on his tail, they're walking toward me.

_"Alright bro, let's get out of here." Eddy tells me_, I agree, throwing my bag over my shoulder and we begin walking home together, discussing our first day of school.

** Marie:**

Lee, May, and I walk through the door of our trailer as it squeaks loud and obnoxiously, it shuts behind us with a loud "clack!" It immediately reminds me of where I live and the life style I have. May heads first for the couch and drops herself down on her stomach and lays there, motionless and fatigued. I see lee at the fridge, restocking it with groceries she paid for before she's off to work. Since mom is gone all the time, Lee takes care of May and I, the responsibility was forced on her in freshman year of school as soon as we noticed mom gone for weeks at a time and we were starved, she took on her first job at age 15. Speaking of, it doesn't surprise me that mom isn't here, she hasn't been here for 3 days now, she's probably off with another guy she met at a nearby bar. Each of my sisters has a different dad than I, I don't take pride in that or who my mom is or was, but it is what it is. I stare around at my surroundings, it's disgusting; Empty Pizza boxes on a nearby coffee table, dirty laundry spread out across the brown carpet, there are stains on the yellow walls, nothing is straight, everything is dirty, and it stinks. "I can't be here right now" I think to myself and walk out the door, I don't know where I'll go, I just can't be here. I walk through mud and by piles of scrap metal and garbage before I'm out of the trailer park and I find myself right outside of the forest, I hate this forest, just like I hate everything and everyone else around me, Except for maybe my sisters. While thinking about all of the things I despise in life, Eddward comes to mind, and I'm reminded of what I witnessed earlier at school. I begin kicking the rocks and twigs in my path as i walk through the forest. I know I shouldn't be bothered by it and he has the right to be interested in whoever he wants, but somehow, it does bother me. I feel regret, as if somehow me being too forceful as a child ruined the possibilities of Eddward and I working out. I like the idea of us together, I feel he's the only guy I can see myself feeling compassion and love for, there's something about him, he's different than everyone else and it catches my attention and builds the attraction I have for him. -But I'm forced to keep these feelings buried within me, forced to neglect them like he does to keep me from hurting too much, I hear a noise and stop dead in my tracks, cautious; I creep forward, careful not to give away my position. Suddenly, my eyes widen and my stomach turns, I see Eddward lying on his back with his head against his backpack, he's drawing. I watch him and I study his features, his expressions, the unique gap between his two front teeth that separates his smile from everyone else's. It's no wonder I feel the way I do about him, should I walk up to him and say something? Do I pretend I never saw him here? Do I just sit here and watch him longer? My heart starts beating faster as I imagine myself being with him, him all mine and me all his, free to hug him, to kiss him, to learn everything about him, his personality, his sense of humor; to love him and for him to love me back. Then, I remember him telling me to give him some space, I think that was his way of telling me to leave him alone, that he didn't want anything to do with me, and that hurts.

_Snap!_

A twig underneath me breaks when I shift my weight and his sight snaps toward my direction, I don't think he sees me, so I run. This was a mistake, I shouldn't have come here! I'm such a child for acting this way, I should know better. I reach our trailer, my breath is gone and I'm panting uncontrollably. After taking a second to catch my breath, I rush to my room, lock the door, and throw myself into my pillow. I shouldn't feel tears coming along, why is this happening? Why can't I stop it? Why does it hurt so badly? Why? I let the tears flow, I let my eyes burn, and i let my cheeks stain; its better this way.

Eddward:

_"Hey Nazz" I call out_ to her when I see her on my way back home from the forest, she's not with Kevin, and she's alone. She only stares at me as I approach her, it's almost as if this is the first time she's seen me, like I'm a complete stranger.

_"How are you?"_ I break the silence, but her expression doesn't change much, I begin feeling the awkwardness creep in between us, and I scratch my head waiting for her response. My face is hot and I feel itchy again, the way I always feel when I'm with Nazz, and no matter how hard I think, I can't think of the words to break the silence. She sighs; it's a good sign... I think.

_"Double-d..." she starts_ as she looks into my eyes with frustration and continues "I know you think you have some sorts of feelings for me, and it's creepy."

Those words, they hurt and that hurt lingers in my mind and in my heart, I want it to stop, but she continues:

_"There is nothing going on between us, there never will be, so please leave me alone" she turns_, not giving me a second thought as she walks off, leaving me there to solve and unscramble the hurt I have inside and the feelings that confuse me, I can't even look up to where she walks away from me. I just stand there, too embarrassed to make a move, to walk away, to say anything, I just stand there. Nazz, the girl I've been crushing on for years, the girl who I thought the world of, the perfect girl who was the sweetest to me, just broke my heart and I couldn't prevent it. What just happened? If I'd just confessed to her sooner, would things be different? If I'd hung out with her more as kids, would she consider me? If I'd stuck up for myself when picked on, would her thoughts of me change at all? If I'd paid less attention to school and more on her, would this ever had happened? These questions along with many more, have no answers to them, and the reality of it, of this whole situation and the effects of it sinks in and overwhelms me. I feel my body weaken and I kneel to the ground, my sight goes blurry and I feel my eyes fill with tears, I burry my face in my hands and I sob. How pathetic must I look right now? No wonder she rejected me.

Sarah:

"I don't think anyone saw what just happened but me" I think to myself as I watch the boy in the middle of the side walk from my window, he's crying. My heart reaches out to him with understanding, I want to go to him and comfort him; but I don't because these thoughts confuse me, are they lingering feelings I believed I had when we were kids? I argue with myself before I finally convince myself to go through with it, so I rush out the door. When I open the front door, I am careful of how I approach him, I don't want to startle him or scare him. I put a hand on his shoulder and kneel down next to him, he doesn't look up though, I understand.

_"Come here..." I whisper_ to him and I carry him onto his feet, he still refuses to look up, I don't think he's crying anymore. I'm surprised when I find he's a whole 6 or 8 inches taller than me, I'd never noticed before. I guess I never really noticed him before until now, now that he's hurting like this, and I want to help him. He neglects me at first as I attempt to hug him, but I don't give up. I pull him into my hold and he's limp in my arms, he doesn't hold me back but he lets his head fall into my neck. I give my best attempt to comfort him while I rub his back with the palms of my hands, and he finally hugs me back, accepting my comfort.

_"It's okay..." i whisper_ into his ear, and as i do, i feel his body begin to shake as he cries again. Is this wrong for us to be like this? Is it okay that somehow, I feel butterflies in my chest; is it okay to want to be like this longer? I know that his heart is fragile from when we were younger, that when eddy was scamming us into his tricks, double-d mostly cared for us and tried to talk eddy out of it. I don't know really what I felt for him then, but whatever it was, I think I got a glimpse of it again...

**A/N: hello again, sorry if I kept you waiting longer than you'd hoped for this chapter, but I had no idea of which approach I'd take for the rest of the story. In chapter 2 I tried to introduce each character and a bit of their personality. I'll try to keep each chapter ATLEAST 2,000 words so that it'll be enjoyable for you to read. (this chapter lacks that amount of words, but i make up for it in the next chapter; trust me) Please leave criticism if you would, I'd really appreciate it. THANKS FOR READING!**

_**Here's a little sneak peek: (If you'd prefer everything a surprise, then don't read on)**_

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_I stare into her eyes, those bluish greenish eyes, and I can't help myself but to notice them. She gets embarrassed and lets her head down, hiding strands of her hair behind her ear. I take her chin and I pull her gaze back to catch mine and we stop, I feel butterflies rush to my stomach and back to my chest, they linger there and with each pump of my heart, it hurts, but I want more._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I change my mind about the whole '3 chapter publish' thing, I'll publish a chapter as soon as I have the chapter after, written (So you can expect them sooner). Thanks again for those who read and favorite, and to those who make time to leave a review. :)**

Chapter 3:

My eyes slowly open and my vision comes clearer as I notice my familiar surroundings, I remind myself of where I am and how I got here, then I remember the other day and what happened. I was rejected by my crush and comforted by Ed's little sister, Sarah. She's 17 now, a year younger than I am, she has natural blonde hair, she's short, absolutely beautiful, and she buys expensive clothing (which I wonder about because Ed's clothes are normal), her dad travels a lot and is rich, so she is able to afford nice things, unlike me, even though my parents make a lot of money, and we have a nice house, all of my clothes and belongings I have had to work and pay for myself since I was 15 (Apparently it teaches responsibility), I have to work every summer for them, but that's beside the point. Sarah is a beautiful girl, but her beauty comes with a price; Sarah has a reputation of being flirty with guys, some people would even consider her "slutty". I know she's not a virgin, but I don't think she sleeps with as much guys as people say. She's very popular at school.  
I replay the other day through my head again...

As I sit there, crying my heart out for the first time since as long as I can remember, thinking of how life as I know it just got ten times worse than it was prior. I hear footsteps beside me, but I'm too embarrassed and heartbroken to even care, so I ignore it. These footsteps stop, and they kneel down beside me, it's probably my mom, Ed or Eddy, the only people in my life who even care about me. -But, the hands that touch my shoulder don't feel familiar, not like my mom's, they're much more feminine than Ed or Eddy's hands, and smaller than my moms, it can't be Nazz, could it?

_"Come here" she whispers_ as she guides me up onto my feet, I don't argue, but I refuse to have eye contact with her, because I know that whoever it is, I would probably look pathetic in their eyes, crying like this. She pulls me toward her; I am startled so I pull away. Her hands are soft, not soft as in "texture" but as in "gesture" and "comfort" instead, I am comforted by these hands as they pull me into her arms. At this point I can tell who it is, it's Ed's little sister: Sarah. I don't know if accepting her comfort would be appropriate, especially considering Ed is my best friend and that I don't really know Sarah that much, but I accept it anyways, because somehow; I need this. I lay my head down on her shoulder and I can smell the perfume on her neck, the aroma sends a tingle down my spine, I enjoy it.

_"It's okay" she whispers_ into my ear as she holds me tighter, and at that point, I lose the hold I've gotten over myself and I let my tears flow freely, disregarding the way I may look to her while doing so.

My mind comes back to reality and I'm leaning over on the side of my bed, I look over my room and there's not a thing out of place, it's clean. It makes me think of who I am and the way I live, I'm weird, maybe I'm better off single. I make my bed, get dressed and i am out the door right before Ed and Eddy walk up to my house. It's been 2 weeks since school started and I feel a lot has already happened to me since it started; too much actually.

_"Bro, where were you last night?!" Ed shouts_ as he shakes my shoulders, _"We almost pulled an all nighter at Eddy's last night!"_ I believe him because Eddy is down and tired, he hasn't even said anything yet.

_"My mom came down and flipped shoot... she was so pissed." Eddy adds_, I imagine that he won't be harassing much girls toda- oh... never mind

_"Ladies, you better watch out, someone let the cool cat out" he says_, joining a group of girls walking to school. I try to focus on the reality around me, but no matter how much I try, my thoughts refer back to Sarah.  
I'd never noticed her before, why would she care enough of me to help me when I was hurt? Was I wrong about her, maybe she's not the crazy, dramatic and emotionally unstable girl that she was when we were younger; maybe people change. I think of the idea of Sarah being interested in me, and whether or not I'm putting too much thought into the idea, she was probably just being nice. I remember the aroma she carried and the warmth of her body, I suddenly feel cold and I crave her warmth again. I feel like a child who can't keep his emotions in check and doesn't know how to handle a situation like this. My hormones are wild and all I can think about right now is her features, seeing what's underneath the shirt she's wearing today, feeling her skin against mine, I'm lusting after her... oh shoot, she's here. My thoughts are interrupted as I remember where I am, I'm walking through the front parking lot again, and Sarah is with a group of her friends that I'm now walking past. I watch her group, more specifically, I watch her, and when she notices me watching, I jerk my eyes away and walk faster toward the entrance.

"Shoot, shoot, shoot! Will she come and tell me I'm creepy and to leave her alone? Does she think I'm weird? Is it what I'm wearing or the way I look? I shouldn't have worn my hat today..." I think to myself as I rip my books out of my bag which I'd used to carry them for homework that weekend, and I stuff them back into my locker. I need to be alone right now, I stop, everything around me stops and I push myself to a quiet place, a place I can go to think, even though I'm standing at my locker and there's plenty of students around me. My eyes close and I take a deep breath, I try to clear my mind and rid all thoughts and confusions regarding Sarah, but instead, there she is, laughing with her friends. She sure does look happy, she looks up at me and she smiles; not your casual smile, but a smile with feeling to it, like she's trying to tell me something. I feel myself walking over to her, and I stare into her eyes, those bluish greenish eyes that I can't help myself but to notice them. She gets embarrassed and puts her head down, hiding strands of hair behind her ear. I grab her chin and I pull her gaze back to catch mine and we stop, I feel butterflies rush to my stomach and back to my chest, they linger there and with each pump of my heart, it hurts, but I enjoy it. My eyes snap open to the sound of a girl's voice saying my name and reality comes back to me, it takes me a while to realize where I am but I turn to her voice, and I notice she's standing next to me. She smiles at me and I can't help but smile back, she grabs hold of the back of my neck, pulling my head to her level, our lips are getting closer, inches to centimeters, centimeters to eights of an inch, i can feel her breath on my own and only a moment before they touch-

Bam!

The instructor slams my book onto the floor next to me and I jerk my head up out of my nap in reaction, completely startled at the loud interruption. I was in such a deep sleep that I didn't even notice my instructor grabbing my book from right in front of me. All the classmates are laughing at me, including my two friends Ed and Eddy.

"_Eddward, do I need to have a talk with your parents?" She asks me_, my parents have never been called in before; I've never been a problem, so there's never been a need to.

_"No ma'am, I apologize, I'm awake" I respond_ while straightening myself, I couldn't sleep last night, I was distracted by thoughts of a girl, the same girl I dreamed of just now.

My instructor returns my book to me as she continues her English lecture. My dream, was it a dream? It felt so real, something I've never experienced before, i felt like I was there for hours, just gazing into her eyes, without anyone to interrupt me, free to stare to my heart's content. Class has only been going for 15 minutes now, and I'm already ready to return home and sleep, to continue the dream I shared with the girl, Sarah. Why now? Why am I constantly thinking about her? This can't be natural. I ran to my class like a complete idiot when she noticed me staring, then I fell right to sleep.

After school, I feel like walking home alone today, so I ditch Ed and Eddy. As I walk out the gates I can hear someone call out to me, so I stop and turn, it's her. When she catches up with me, we start walking together.

_"Are you okay?" She finally asks_, I turn to her in reaction to her question and notice her warmhearted eyes looking into mine, my stomach jumps into my chest again.

_"About that..." I pause_ as I stare down to my feet, and scratch the back of my head before I continue. _"That- umm... that was super embarrassing for me and I'm sorry you had to see that"  
_  
_"We've all had our hearts broken, I know how you must have felt" she starts "i would have loved to have had someone by my side to help me when I went through it"_ I can tell this girl really does understand my pain, could it be that through all of her flirting with guys, there's been times where she's experienced heart break?

_"I'm here to talk about it, if you want" _she puts her hand on my shoulder to show me she cares.  
I feel sick to my stomach when I think of Nazz and what happened between us.

_"Thank you for your help, thank you for being here for me" I reply_, she smiles _"if I may ask, why are you helping me?"_

_"Do you question every hand that reaches out to you to help?"_ She does make a good point.

_"I'm happy that they're your hands" I say_ sounding too cheesy for my own liking, I seem to be talking more than I had previously, it's almost as If I'd had a whole change of mind and that I'm more careless about what I say or of embarrassing myself, but I do still think too much about what I say. She doesn't say anything, so I worry about what she's thinking, then I debate with myself if it's wise to allow myself to get closer to her and open myself up to her, because as you know, she's one of the more popular girls at school, just like Nazz; and Nazz broke my heart. I put my guard up and pretend like nothing was said; she's still walking home with me though, which I find odd.

_"Why aren't you walking with your friends?" I ask_, a little too boldly.

_"Sometimes it's nice to get away from them, to be alone." that's all she says_ with no elaboration, but that's okay, I know what she means.

_"I know what you mean..." I understand._

Sarah and I walk the rest of the way home in casual conversation, I don't let my guard down and I try not to show my interest in her, but the more I talk with her, the more I find myself more interested in her and wanting to get to know her more.

Marie:  
I've noticed Eddward spending a lot of time together with that bitch Sarah lately, not at school where people can see them, but on the way home and after school. I've seen them on the path home that I take (my sisters and i are usually the only ones who take this path) talking and laughing. Every time I see them together, they've seemed to be more casual and comfortable with each other, flirting. It makes me sick, it makes me angry, it makes me want to approach her and hurt her, but I can't have that or he would hate me for sure. My sisters notice me deep in thought, and they see me watching them as they walk past our trailer park.

_"Want me to teach her a lesson?" Lee asks_ as she walks to me to comfort me, she knows how I feel about Edd, she knows how much it hurts. Regardless, if she hurt Sarah, Edd would think I sent her and would hate me. I tell her no and I ask to be alone, I don't want anyone near me right now, I'm usually stronger than this, but he does something to me that no one else can do, he found his way into my heart. I have to tell him how I feel, there's a window open now and I only have moments to act before he believes he has feelings for Sarah, so I follow them. When he and Sarah say goodbye, and Edd walks into his house, I approach his front door.

"Okay... here we go, no turning back now" I ready myself, my body is shaking, I'm scared and I don't know why. My heart pounds in my chest and my fingers tremble as I raise them to the doorbell. I close my eyes and I count:  
1, 2, 3-

I push it, now I wait.

The door opens and Eddward stands in the doorway, he's already taken his shoes off and got himself comfortable, he seems surprised when he sees me standing here. None of us say anything, it makes me nervous, I try to think of the words I'd say to him at this point, I guess I never thought I'd get this far.

_"Marie... umm... hey!"_ He finally breaks the silence "what are you-"

_"Hey Eddward" I cut him off_ and prepare my next words, my heart is beating so noticeably fast that it hurts.

_"I'm not... sure… how to say this..." I make out_, this is harder than I thought, part of me tells me to forget it and to run away, that it's not worth the embarrassment, but part of me motivates me to keep going, to pour my heart out to him.

_"I love you Edd, I have for as long as I can remember. You're all I think about, and you're all I want." I finally say_, he's so shocked that he doesn't say anything, he only stands there.  
_"I love you, and if you reject me right here in your doorway, I don't know what I'll do." I add_, he looks down for a moment and looks back to me with sorrow in his eyes. No, this can't be happening, I didn't anticipate this.

_"I'm sorry..." he finally replies_, and that's all he says. I can feel my heart break and I can feel my eyes fill with tears, a couple escape and roll down my cheek leaving a stain of wet mascara in its path. I can't do this in front of him, I can't, so I run away, as fast as I can, leaving him alone in his door way

_**Here's a little sneak peek: (If you'd prefer everything a surprise, then don't read on)**_

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_Its not the picture of her that she finds so fascinating, its the way I remember her, and the way I drew her. She communicates with the drawing the way I intended, and I think this way she understands a bit more about how I feel._

**(As interesting as that may sound, i can promise that the next chapter is a good one!)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: sorry if my readers had to wait longer than they'd hoped, I'd like to write as much as i could to get chapters out fast, but how good would the quality of each chapter be if i released a chapter every other day? I hope you'll understand and you'll bare with me, i revise the chapter at least 3 times before i publish them. Anyways, this chapter was really exciting for me, i think it allowed me to get a lot off of my chest, it's stuff that i usually don't write about, but hopefully you'll enjoy it (I know i did!)**

**Chapter 4:**

Why do things have to be this way? Life... I spend my time feeling sorry for myself, that I can't be someone and that I'm alone. I want what I can't have and I push away those who care about me. I can't stop thinking about her, her confession and that I broke her heart. I remember her crying and it breaks my heart to think about it, I understand what she's going through, what it's like to have a heart broken, I just wish it wasn't me breaking hers, I never pictured this for me. Then I think of Sarah, and how well we get along together when we walk home from school, hang out alone sometimes, how I'm attracted to her, and that i actually like her, she's been on my mind constantly without end lately, and all I can think is that I want to be with her, and I wait eagerly for the time we meet again. My feelings are so screwed up right now. I wonder if I just feel guilty, Marie didn't deserve that, but what else was I supposed to say? She's a cool girl and I wish I had the opportunity to get to know her, but she ruined that.

_"What do you guys think of Marie Kanker?" I ask_ Ed and Eddy as we lounge around in Ed's bedroom, playing video games, reading comics and other magazines, and I am of course drawing. Eddy looks up at me after I ask.

_"I heard about what happened..." he replies_, Ed is too busy on his video games to even care about the conversation. _"Tough titties, first you get screwed over by Nazz, and then you screw over Marie. I wonder if this is some sort of chain reaction, who's next?"_

_"I don't feel that way about her is all" I say_, I can feel this conversation about to get touchy.

_"So you turn down Marie Kanker, bad girl with a skinny hot bod, who's totally into you- was... for what? Are you gay?" He argues_, she didn't seem like a bad girl the other day on my porch, she seemed just as any other girl would; with feelings and vulnerability, does she play a face to hide her feelings and insecurities? I don't even know her, how can she love me? Regarding eddy's question; it's not that I don't know the answer, it's just that I don't know if I can trust him with personal information without him running his mouth off to everyone at school. I think he notices me thinking and decides he'll say something.

_"Ahhhh..." he realizes "I've noticed you hanging a lot with Sarah lately"_ this catches Ed's attention and he pauses his game to join us.

_"Do you like her?" Ed asks_ and he and eddy are both impatiently for my reply.

_"I don't know her enough to be able to tell" I lie_, of course I like her, but we only hang out after school because she doesn't want any of her friends to know about it, which gets me thinking; if she's so willing to keep it a secret, does that mean that I'm something special and worth keeping a secret from people?... wait, what am I even saying?

_"Whatever, we know you do!" Eddy says_ catching my bluff, I feel pressured and I'm not sure how to react. _"Haha! Look at him, he's blushing " Eddy teases_, getting all mushy, I shove him away.

_"It's okay if you do." Eddy says_, I look at Ed, who seems to agree

_"Marie really put me down, I don't know.." I make up excuses_

_"Dude, you know how you feel, you baby, don't let that crazy Kanker ruin this for you" Ed argues_

_"She's upstairs if you want to talk to her, you don't need my permission." Ed says_ as he turns back to his games, maybe I will go up to see her.

_"Until a girl likes me, video games are my girlfriend" Ed jokes_ and eddy laughs as I leave the room.

Here we go...

Knock. Knock.

My heart pounds uncontrollably as I wait for her door to open, I begin to think of what I'll say to her, what words I think of are any good. How will I act with just the two of us in her bedroom... alone? Nothing will happen. She opens her door and a big smile spreads across her face, so beautiful and attractive. I seem to be noticing these things the more I see her; her smile, her personality and everything else about her.

_"Double D! Hey!"_ She gets excited as she hugs me, it's nothing new, it's how we've greeted each other every time for a while now, she invites me in and jumps back onto her bed, now finishing up painting her finger nails.

_"I just came to say hi is all, I shouldn't stay long" I say_ as I watch her paint. She's so pretty, all the time. She's dressed more casual today, short pink shorts and a regular white hello kitty tank top, she's revealing a lot of her legs, and much I've never seen before. I can't help but feel my body get hotter and my heart pounding faster. I'm wearing black sweat shorts, a red T-shirt, and I haven't worn my hat in a while now.

_"Really?" She pouts sarcastically_, closing her nail polish and sitting on the edge of the bed. I have no idea how to act right now, what to say, and how to stand. Where do I put my hands? To the side? Folded? In my pockets? Every conversation I played through my head previously has totally abandoned me.

_"I've been bored all day, stay with me" she pleads_, I look into her eyes, it's hard to explain, but the way she looks at me drives me nuts. I know it's only been a couple of weeks since Nazz rejected me, but I've never felt this way with Nazz. I look at Sarah, and I want to look at her forever, As long as I can see her, I'm happy and I always want to make her happy.

_"Okay" I agree_ as I take a seat on the floor and lean against her bed next to her, I rest my sketchbook onto my lap.

_"You okay? You seem down" she asks_

_"I have a lot on my mind"_ you, I have you on my mind, everything about you, your caring heart and personality, your hair, your eyes, your smile, your breasts, your legs, and that sweet aroma you carry on you; but i don't tell her. She doesn't say anything more on the subject.

_"Can I see your sketchbook?" She asks_, that's right, I've never shown anyone my sketches except for Nazz. Sarah sits next to me, closer than necessary I notice, I feel her arm against mine and it gives me butterflies, but I pretend not to notice.

_"Sure, but use caution, my sketches have been known to have effects on those who see them" I joke _and she laughs, which makes me smile.

_"Oh yeah? And what effects would those be?" She also jokes  
_  
_"Blindness, from their true awesomeness" I smile_ sheepishly, what a joke that was, probably the dumbest joke if I say so myself.

_"Wow... look at these..." she's in awe_, she's already flipped it open to my most recent drawing. I've never considered myself as a good artist, but seeing her reaction makes me reconsider my judgment of my own talent. She flips back through each page, studying the detail and effort I've put into it. She turns the page and this page makes her freeze, she's speechless, she looks at me with my book still in her hands, our faces are close now. Her eyes, those beautiful eyes with so much feeling in them, that look that drives me crazy. We're silent now, there's not a sound to ruin this special moment.

_"Eddward" she whispers_ as she stares at the drawing again, it's a picture of her, as I remember her from the time we spent together. In the picture; it's of her back (her back shoulder to be exact), but she turns her head toward me, and her head is lowered. Her eyes so beautiful, staring downward with so much emotion in them, love. Her smile so bright, it says a lot about her personality. It's not the picture of her that she finds so fascinating, it's the way I remember her, and the way I drew her. She communicates with the drawing the way I intended, and I think this way, she understands a bit more about how I feel.  
We continue to sit there as she continues to look at the drawing, a minute or so passes and she closes the book and places it down on her lap, her eyes still fixed on it as she takes a moment, then, she tosses it aside and before I know it she's thrown herself into my arms into a deep embrace, there are no words said, she just hugs me. I can feel her heart beat as fast as she can feel mine, as well as the warmth from each other's bodies. This is the first time this has ever happened to me, waves of butterflies rush throughout my body all the way to the tips of my fingers. I feel myself getting aroused, but I keep her in my embrace. She pulls up, her face is about 8 inches from mine, she stares into my eyes, we connect and for a brief moment, it's almost as if we read each other's thoughts. I want to kiss you, I want to kiss you, I want to kiss you. I lean her over onto her back against the floor, her hair is spread out beneath her head, and she's waiting for me. How can I? This would be my first intentional kiss (aside from that of which was taken from me when I was younger) I lean closer to her, my body trembles on top of her, she comforts me with a hand over my back and the other griping my arm, which is planted firmly at her side. Her eyes tell me that it's okay, that I shouldn't be afraid. Closer, and closer, i close my eyes and she follows my lead. I feel like I'm moving in slow motion, I can feel her heavy sweet breath against my lips, as well as that sweet aroma that I'm so desperately craving, just moments away. My heart hurts, the butterflies are pounding against it. Our lips are inches away from each other's.

_"Eddward" she whispers_ out of longing, her voice as soft as white silk, my eyes flip open and she takes hold of the side of my head while the other roams freely at the surface of my chest, she allows me to take my time, but her lips can't take much more of this, she bites her lower lip trying to control herself, her body is also uncontrollably aroused. I won't let her wait another second, before I close my eyes and our lips are stacked against each other's. I acknowledge every detail, the warmth and the wetness, the texture and the taste. She takes the back of my head and deepens the kiss; my heart takes control leaving my mind to follow. Her one hand has my head and is running its fingers through my hair which has now grown out a bit since school started, while the other hand pulls our body's closer together, diminishing the free space between us. Our legs are tangled and our bodies are glued, our eyes shut and our hands are touching whatever they can grab hold of. I take this opportunity to memorize her features, the curves of her body as I caress her, the shape of her breasts as I grope them, warmness of her cheeks when my fingers slide and tangle themselves in the strands of her hair. We're still kissing and her delicate moans and her breath on my neck excite me more as I find myself sucking on hers, i feel like I'm going to explode. She's also taking the opportunity to memorize my features, I feel her hands under my shirt as she slides up and down my muscles, her hands in my hair and she loosens my belt and sneaks into my boxers, which makes me grunt and moan as well. My hearts in the lead but my mind catches up, I realize where we've gone too far and I can't continue. She agrees and It feels unnatural as we break away, our bodies are still together and I stare into her eyes, realizing what I truly feel for this girl; Love. It took me long to realize it, but I love her. She sees what I am feeling through the way I'm looking at her; she pulls me in for one last passionate kiss before letting me go. I pull myself up, my erection obvious as I do so and I help her up to her feet. Our faces still flushed and our eyes rarely break contact, she slides into my arms and I notice a tear in her eye. Adorable, I wipe it away with my thumb. _"I- I love you" she whispers_ as she buries her head into my chest. That sounds familiar, except for this time, all of my heart tells me that this girl means it. _"I love you too" I whisper_ back and kiss her forehead. We stand there in each other's arms for countless minutes. Maybe being me is not so bad.

**A/N: Hi, once again thanks for reading and thanks for the reviews! I'm very happy with the response I've gotten on this! J**

**_Here's a little sneak peek: (If you'd prefer everything a surprise, then don't read on)_**

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_My face is bruised and I can taste blood, i feel my head get kicked and my eyes go blurry with tears. someone screaming for me, the beating lessens as arms wrap around me. I come in and out of consciousness, or somewhere near losing it. -But I can feel her arms around me._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ! Chapter 6 is nearly done but i'm having trouble finishing because of it's sexual themes. I need to ask my readers a serious question and i need you to answer honestly in a review. For sexual themes, would you prefer them written rated T, M, or A?**

**Teen - The idea is presented (mature themes but no detail)**

**Mature - The idea is presented in a detailed manner (mature themes but not written in too much detail to make most uncomfortable)**

**Adult - The idea is Presented in full detail (like a porno)**

**again, please leave a review about what you think! Thanks!**

I still can't wait for the times we are together and I still get excited for them before they happen, I also hate to say good bye even if we will see each other the next morning. It's been 10 days since we confessed our feelings to each other in Sarah's bedroom, we walk to school together, then break apart at the gate per her request. I think she needs a bit more time getting comfortable with it. The moment our hands disconnect at the gate is when my hands ache for hers again. She kisses me and I watch her run to her friends by their cars, Nazz is also over there. Its awkward between us now, she even got the teacher to rearrange the seating chart so we wouldn't sit by each other anymore, which I suppose is relieving to me. I wait twenty or so seconds until she's situated with her friends before I follow her lead Into the parking lot, I watch her as I walk through it, it reminds me of how I feel and I can't help but stare, I want to walk over there and be with her, but I resist. She notices me staring and she smiles when she does, hiding a strand of her hair behind her ear in embarrassment. I smile back, continuing my walk toward the front door. I'm approached by Kevin.

_"What are you looking at?" He demands_ a response as he steps in front of me, his face threateningly close to mine. I'm confused, did I do something wrong? His friends join him, more jocks who think they're higher than everyone else in the school, who bully anyone they want. They make me sick.

_"You were staring at the girls over there, who were you staring at?!" He yells_, bringing a lot of attention to us now, I begin to get worried as I look around at the people staring at us now, they expect a fight to arise, I see Marie in the distance with her sisters, she doesn't seem very happy. Then I look over where Kevin was referring to, where Sarah is, then I see Nazz by her, I forgot she was even there.

_"I don't know what you're talking abo-"_ he shoves me and I hit the ground, Sarah winces in reaction, tempted to run out for me, but she resists the temptation, luckily I'm padded by my backpack when I land. Ed and eddy rush in when they notice what's going on, they must have just arrived.

_"Chill the fuck out Kevin, he didn't do anything!"_ Ed steps between us ready to be mauled by Kevin and his friends, Ed is at his side and I'm pulling myself up.

_"Excuse me, students! Is there a problem here?"_ A teacher just arrived pulling himself out of his car, no one answers, Eddy is in Kevin's face and people still surround us. I look over to Sarah and she has worry exaggerated in her expression, she almost looks as if someone just died. I don't smile, instead I give her my best "I'm alright." Expression.

_"No? Then I suggest you all break it up before someone gets in trouble"_ the teacher continues. Chatter starts up and crowds disassemble, people return to their conversations and Kevin backs off, he points at me_; "this isn't over." He threatens_ as his friends walk off and eddy stands his ground.

_"Thanks Buddy" I tell him_, patting his back as I situate myself, I glance at Sarah again and she's still looking at me with worried eyes, her friends are pulling her along and they enter the school.

Classes pass and its lunch time, I'm on my way to the lunch room with Ed and Eddy and the moment I pass through the doors, we're approached again by Kevin and his group. We're outnumbered 7 to 3, people see us and the room quiets with rumored chatter, I can already tell we have all of the attention.

_"Give it a rest Kevin" eddy says_ trying to pass them, but Kevin's friend stops him. Kevin stands in front of me, but I stand as strong as I can. He doesn't say anything but stares at me, I don't flinch, I'm not going to be bullied by him anymore, I don't care if I win or lose.

_"I know about what happened between you and Nazz, leave her alone you fucker!" He shouts_ as he pushes me, this is my moment, time to show what I'm really capable of, either push or be pushed! Within seconds, I throw my fist landing right into the side of his face and he falls to the floor. My hand hurts, his hands immediately hold his injury as he looks at me with shock. I'm immediately rushed by his friends and one spears me to the floor. My face, arms, chest, stomach, and everywhere else I can feel start to bruise as four of his friends pound me, kick me, and punch me. Eddy and Ed are doing their best fighting two of them, but the other 4 are beating on me. I make no attempt to get up or to even stop them; I know it's no use. I hear yells and I hear grunts, Ed knocks one out and pulls another off of me for a fight. Kevin has pulled himself up and is now beating me as well. My eyes are bruised and I can taste blood, i feel my head kicked and my vision blurs with tears but I can hear someone screaming, I feel the beating lessen as arms wrap around me. I come in and out of consciousness, or somewhere near losing it, but I can feel her arms around me. I'm too weak to move but I can feel her struggle as the boys try and pull her off of me to continue their wrath, but she holds me so tight that its worthless, refusing to let go no matter what the cost. It's over, but I can barely open my eyes, my blurred vision sees Eddy and Ed fighting Kevin's friends, and I can see a struggle to pull Sarah off of my motionless body. My vision is getting darker and darker, and I'm out.

**Sarah:**

I watch him, this unconscious boy in his hospital bed that I've pretty much just met twenty or so days ago and I wonder why- why it happened so fast, why its him I've fallen for and not the usual boys I hang with. I see his bruises and cuts and it hurts my heart, I can't hold back the tears. Why does it hurt so bad to see him like this? He's captured my heart, and my mind tells me I'm glad he has, relieved that he has because of who he is. He's so gentle, so caring, his heart so pure. I don't deserve a guy like this, so why does he want me so bad? My thoughts travel back to a few hours ago, when this incident occurred.

My friends and I were eating lunch together, having a casual conversation about dance and cheer routines, I'm not a cheer leader like they are, but I still like to help where I can. The room just got louder and people start standing on the chairs and tables for a better view, all staring in one general direction. I hear chatter and people are anxious. I'm getting nervous as well as I push to the front of the line, half way through; the crowd roars in shock. It's harder to get to the front than I thought, but I continue. I become paranoid, hoping it's not who I think it is, and when I sneak through the empty space between the crowds, I see him and I panic, my knees tremble and my thoughts scramble. Edd is being beaten by four guys bigger than him, he's motionless and I think the worst. Without thinking I throw myself on top of him, screaming for them to stop. The boys make their best attempt to separate us, but I refuse to release.

_"Sarah! What are you doing?!" Jason shouts_ as he pulls my shoulders, Jason is my ex boyfriend, the first guy I thought I loved, but he betrayed me, deceived me, cheated me with another girl who used to be a good friend of mine, but now she's a good friend of no one.  
_"Sarah, get out of the way!" He shouts_ as he pulls harder, but I hold Edd so tight that it's pointless.  
_"No! I love him!" I shout_, no longer concerned or worried about people finding out, I let my tears flow, I won't deny what I feel for him. _"I love him!" I shout again_, they release me and leave him alone, I just sit there and hold his motionless form, crying.  
Three teachers and the cook pull all of the boys off of each other, separating the fight; they don't bother trying to pull me off of Edd. I look at him, tears blurring my vision and my heart drops. His face is covered with blood which now covers my forearms, his eye and his lip are swollen and his body is bruised, I wouldn't be surprised if he had broken bones, such a handsome face is now unrecognizable by the blood covering it. Kevin and his friends are being taken aside, as well as Ed and Eddy and they are forced up against the wall. By now the police have arrived as well as a paramedic, my friends surround me, giving their best attempt to comfort me, but I don't care about anything right now, all I want is to be by his side.  
_"Sarah, what the hel-"_ Jason is cut off by jenny, my good friend _"just get out of here Jason" she says_ as she pushes him away, guiding him out the door. It's not long before Edd is put onto a stretcher and into the ambulance to the hospital; I insisted they take me along. This brings me to now; sitting at his bedside, holding his hands, crying uncontrollably, while waiting for him to wake. I wait and I wait but there's no response. I'm tired, so I rest my head on his bed with his hand in mine close to me assuring myself that he's still here with me. Then, I allow myself to fall asleep.

**Eddward:**

My eyes slowly peel open, as I come closer and closer into consciousness, I feel more pain in my head, in my jaw, on my side, and everywhere else I'm bruised and cut. When I pull my hand to grasp my head, I notice its stuck in a tight grip of Sarah's, my tug woke her and she throws herself up in reaction, completely oblivious to her surroundings until she sees where she is and is easily reminded. I chuckle as I notice the texture in her skin by the folds of the sheet and her hairs messed up, she sees me and she smiles, it's clearly obvious she was crying, her swollen eyes are proof enough.

_"Hey" she whispers_, as she leans into me and kisses my hand which is still in hers. I'm so light headed and tired that I can't even move, even the smallest words are the hardest to say.

_"Hey" I make out_, my voice is low and groggy. I grin and I point to her hair, and when she notices it, she's quick to fix it.  
_"Oh jeez" she says_ as she runs her fingers through the strands a couple of times, clearly embarrassed about her appearance. She looks back up at me, her face is flushed, but she manages a smile. My heart is beating faster; just by the way she looks at me drives me insane. I like this feeling, us alone with no interruptions, I can just look into her eyes like I always wanted and I'm happy.  
_"How are you feeling?" She asks concerned_. I'm suddenly aware of just where I am and the condition I'm in.

_"Where am I? What happened to me? Are you okay?" I ask _eagerly, confused at my condition with panic in my voice. She puts her hand up to my chest to slow me down and to comfort me, she reminds me it's not good to make any sudden movements.

_"It's okay... you're in the hospital and you have a concussion and a few broken ribs, its normal you don't remember much"_ her voice so soft and assuring, I believe her when she tells me I'm going to be okay. _"Your parents came by and sat with you for a while, they were really worried and wanted to make sure you were okay. I introduced myself" she smiles._

My parents came to see me? Should I really be surprised? They are my parents after all, but they're never around unless I really need them to be or unless I need help. That doesn't matter though; all I need here with me now is Sarah.

_"What time is it?" I ask  
_  
_"8:00" she replies_

I ask her to lay with me so I can hold her in my arms, regardless of the pain I feel in my sides as she slides under my covers. I lay straight as she curls up next to me, my heart pounds through my chest and I feel that at any moment it'll burst from pumping too hard, feeling her next to me sends butterflies through my body over and over again. I wrap my arm around her and we lay there, not making a sound because there is no need for words now. I turn just enough to give her one last kiss on her forehead before she falls asleep, I don't though, not for a while; my mind won't let me. I can feel her breath on my neck as she breaths in and out, her chest rising with each breath, her warmth makes me feel like I'm cold and I need her to keep me from freezing to death. Her aroma makes my mind foggy, that scent stalks me and makes me want more, it's like a medicine or a drug that I can't get enough of. All of these things I can feel and smell, they put my mind at ease until I'm next to finally fall asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: As you may know, it's been a long time since my last update, and there's a reason behind that. I don't know if any reason i give you would be good enough for you, but i'll try anyways. I got to a point where i questioned the reasoning behind my story, and i wondered which approach i should take next, but every time i thought of something, it really didn't interest me enough to write it down. Writer's block; i didn't expect it to hit this early throughout the story. So, after giving some time to refresh my mind and get some new ideas, I think you'll be happy with the approach i'm taking now. Thanks for reading this far, i don't know if i'd continue if you guys weren't here with me on my first story! :)**

I don't know how much more of this I can take, he's been in the hospital for three days now, he should have already been released. I'll never forgive Kevin for what he did, he even let his friend take the fall and get suspended from school; it's satisfying seeing him with that bruise on his face, he claims it didn't hurt when people ask him about it. I miss Eddward, It's depressing walking home without him, even though I can walk with my friends until we get to my block, sometimes they offer to stay with me while Edd is in the hospital. It doesn't help my situation to have Jason constantly trying to reconnect with me and supposedly mend ties, it's a lost cause and I wish he'd understand that. I wish I'd never trusted him, I was so naive, I probably still am! He took advantage of me, tricked me into giving him my first and then cheated me, he is scum to me and I'll never forgive him.  
I chose to walk alone today though, I don't know if that was a good idea. I'm depressed, bored and cold. Its in mid September now, October is coming close fast, and it gets colder every day, I just wish Edd was with me now, he'd be sure to offer his coat, insisting it was better I had it than himself even if he got sick because of it. He'd hold me close to him in attempt to keep us both warm, and we'd play and tickle each other and everything. I miss him a lot, I feel like such a little girl thinking stuff like this, its only been a couple of days and my heart longs for him so much. I don't like how long this walk is without him.  
_"Hey"_ I hear a voice say to my left, I didn't even notice Marie sitting there on the wall. She's dressed in the usual dark emo style, black skinny jeans and a tight black band shirt, she's wearing dark red makeup that matches somewhat with her dark red hair, is her life really that bad that she chose this style to wear? I've never talked with her before, why would she talk with me now? She gets up and starts walking with me, I hope this isn't going to be awkward for me, I don't say anything though.

_"How is he?" She asks_ with her voice full of concern, this question definitely makes me uncomfortable, not only does it remind me of where he is and his injuries, but it also reminds me of her feelings for him, but I don't judge her, I just don't want to talk with her right now.

_"He's doing better" I tell her "those boys really put him in a rough condition" I continue_ trying to stay happy, though its obvious its not working. We walk together silently for a bit, I don't know what to say.  
_"He loves you, you know?"_ She breaks the silence as if it seemed she was debating on whether to tell me that, she surprised me, I look at her, confused.  
_"You're lucky you have him." She continues_, I can't help but smile at her kindness. Either she's trying to comfort me or warning me to take care of him because of how he feels about me and she wouldn't want him to get hurt.  
_"Thank you" I say_ and she turns the other way. I can tell she still has very strong feelings for him, i'm not mad at her for it, but I'm not happy with her either, Edd's mine and she should mind her business.  
By this point I'm almost home, I see my house around the corner, then I see his house on the other side of the culdesac and for some reason it's his house I walk to. When Opening the door, I find no one home, he did say his parents worked a lot so I shouldn't be surprised. I find my way to his bedroom and help myself inside, it smells like him in here, clean and proper. His bed is neatly made from three days ago, there's a picture of him with his parents at the park on the wall, his smile has the most emphasis, the gap between his teeth is very noticeable and unique. I want to hear his voice right now, the lowness monotone of it, so soothing and so attractive. I follow his long bookshelf full of fantasy stories and romance to his night stand where an alarm clock rests on top of it along with his sketchbook at its side. Its cold in here, but I'm comfortable. Taking a seat on his bed, I look at my surroundings, studying his taste and personality, then opening up his sketchbook again and watching his talent. Then I throw myself down onto his bed and I feel my body sink into it at least 2 inches, I stare at the picture of him on the wall with his parents, smelling his scent he left on his sheets, I'm comfortable, so I let myself sleep.

Eddward:  
At that moment, there was no better way to come home than to see my girl waiting for me in my bed, I like the sound of that ; "my girl" At the beginning of the school year, there'd be no way I could predict the position I'm in now; I found love and it was all because I took risks without knowing the consequences. I motivated myself to put forth effort and change, and now I have Sarah. I love her, and I don't feel that I tell her enough. Looking back now, there's no doubt in my mind that Nazz turning me down was a good thing, regardless of how I felt after she rejected me. My life now is perfect, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  
My opening my door woke her, I see her turn to look at me, wiping her eyes to make sure her eyes aren't deceiving her. She pulls herself out of her covers and i drop the bag of hygienic supplies my parents brought to the hospital for me. I open my arms, welcoming her for an embrace and she doesn't hesitate.

_"Eddward..." she says_ as she runs into my arms, oh she's so warm and it's a familiar warmth I treasure, and lips kissing my cheek now are so soft and loving that I wish to return her favor. I pull her into my embrace tighter until I notice its too much, but she doesn't complain.

_"I missed you so much" she exclaims_ trying to keep her voice down so she won't expose her presence to my parents down stairs, its 9:30 now so I imagine they're retiring for the night.

_"I missed you too..."i reply_ just as eager as she, we pull away, but still in each others arms and our eyes connect. I grin and she hides her smile making me laugh and she can't help but laugh also. Taking hold of both of my cheeks with her palms, she pulls me into a deep loving kiss just as passionate as our first or somewhere close to what I remember, a kiss that expressed so much longing and desire that its obvious what its intentions are, she nibbles my lower lip and our tongues fold over each other. She pulls me closer to my bed and I fall with her as I catch myself just over her form, the tip of her breasts brush up against my chest and she notices my carefulness and she dis-acknowledges it while connecting the surfaces of our bodies. I roll onto my side with my body still connected to hers and I continue to kiss her as passionate as I know possible. I feel like i'm at the peak of arousal as my hands travel down the trim of her pants at the top of her opening awarding me a heap of pleasure and the other hand is at her back, her skin is so soft, softer than I remember and I notice while the tips of my fingers caress the muscles of her lower back just above the trim of her pants. She breaks away and I feel her hand begin to pull my sweat pants down my upper thighs as she doesn't hesitate before tracing my inner thigh, her hand teases my skin and it wants her to go further. The trim of my sweat pants rest at my knees and she pushes me onto my back, but I am quick to join her again as I reconnect our bodies. She sits on top of me while I sit below her and she hugs my head which is eye level with her chest and she's running her fingers through my hair, trying to hide her breaths of pleasure while her body rocks back and forth on top of me uncontrollably, noticeably aroused. I kiss her neck pulling the folds of the skin between my teeth, suckling, licking, teasing which causes her breathing to increase more in a staccato rhythm. Her fingers are still tangled in my hair and she kisses my forehead, she wants me to continue but I'm not sure where to go. I find my lips walking a path down to her collarbone and then to her cleavage which is arguing me with her shirt which still covers her. She helps me, pulling it over her head revealing more of her skin than I'd ever seen, I don't know how much more of this I can take, but I continue. Our bodies are hot and we are starting to sweat, but the surface of her skin tastes sweet like syrup. I continue my path down to her now revealed cleavage tasting her skin, Its the best thing I've ever tasted. My thumbs trace the trim of her bra and they sneak themselves underneath to the lower curve of her breasts where I massage them. These I've never seen, but I don't want to spoil myself, so I leave it be. I return to her lips continuing our passionate kiss, she forces our bodies down, and her back curves so her chest is against mine. I can feel the warmth her stomach against mine as well as the trim of her pants against my throbbing erection. I roll her over and I break our kiss, my lips walk on the same path they'd traveled before, but continue down to her belly button. I force her pants down her soft, thick legs, and I make no hesitation before I feel them down to her ankles, her body is aching for mine, I can feel her legs tense around my waist as I slide back up to meet her gaze. She looks at me, so intense and so meaningful, I try to match her expression but it confuses me. "It's love" she whispers then kisses me again and now I understand, its not sex, its love and now it's okay. I'm underneath her now so i have access to her back, I struggle unstrapping her but she's quick to my aid, quickly she covers herself as her bra falls to my lap. Her eyes avoid mine and she tries to cover her face, but I take hold and force her to meet me.

_"You're beautiful" I comfort her_ and she drops her arms revealing her bare chest to me, my heart skips a beat and I take hold of her waist while she takes hold of my shoulders and my neck, pulling her chest to my mouth as if to invite me to help myself, and I do. My lips wrap around the peak of her breasts and my teeth flicks her sensitive nipple, taunting her, and with each flick comes a twitch in her body followed by a breath of pleasure and occasionally a muted moan. Her hands continue to mess with my hair as I take turns with each of her breasts.

_"I need you now" she whispers_ so close in my ear setting butterflies free within me, her voice is so soft and high pitched that I find it adorable.

_"Make love to me"_ she's so delicate and so fragile it scares me to think of continuing with her, I don't want to hurt her or make her feel uncomfortable. I follow her onto her back and my body trembles above hers, she catches my feeling and places my hand over her heart. Its beating so fast, I look in her eyes and they're understanding. _"I'm here"_

I pull her panties down and toss them onto the floor then do the same with my own boxers, her body is so clear, so revealing, more beautiful than the women in the renaissance paintings I've seen... she seems confident now, she's putting on a face to help me feel more comfortable but she's also scared, her legs are crossed so I won't see all of her nakedness. She studies my naked form and her face flushes red as she tries to avoid eye contact. Its my body, she's disgusted with how I look. I begin to pull away-

_"No, its okay..." she stops me "I love it" she whispers_ as she pulls my hands away from covering my crotch and she gazes at my nakedness. _"I've just... never felt like this... making love" she continues_ and her eyes meet mine.

_"I love you" I whisper_

_"I love you"_ she returns and pulls my body over her and between her legs so my penis is inches away from her vagina. I kiss her more and she moans as my hands slide up and down her gleaming form, tracing the curves of her breasts and lingering at the tips of her nipples, then to the outline of her waist. Her breath is so strong against mine while we breath uncontrollably and her skin so hot against mine as I attempt to close any space left between us. I groan while she slides her grip up and down the shaft of my penis and the other hand traces my chest.  
"I can't take this anymore, any more and I'm going to explode." I think to myself, then pull her hand away. I position myself at her entrance, my mind is still nervous and my body still trembling, but she reminds me that she's just as worried as I am and she shows me with her tight grip around my arms. I prepare myself and begin to slide through her. When I do, I hear her gasp and hold her breath in response to the sudden change, the pain is extreme when I feel the foreskin of my penis stretch through her tightness, it's an ecstasy I've never experienced before being inside this girl I truly love. Her arms wrap around my neck as she inches closer to me, she bites the side of my neck to muffle her moans of pleasure and her gasps of pain while I slide back and forth in repetitive rhythm. Grunts escape through my voice as my fingers tremble against her body. My mind is foggy and all I can think about is the waves of pleasure that enter me with each thrust, as well as the wetness and the aroma; I'm certain sex doesn't feel like this; this feels like love.

**A/N: CHAPTER 7 IS ON IT'S WAY! :)**


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